the end of my troubles. hopefully. this morning i signed the lease for my new apartment. my lovely friend sarah and i are going to make it adorable. i can't believe it's actually mine!
anyhow, it has really seemed as though this has been a period of absolute change for me, so i figure why not throw in some good-for-me changes with them.
number 1. no cable (or at least, not in the living room). not even a tv in my room. because i'm addicted, pure and simple. if it's in the room, i'll watch it, and i have wasted enough of my life with it already. i'm only going to watch movies and only sparingly. i can spend my time with other things which tend to be far more fulfilling.
number 2. i need some more routine in my life. as things are now i go to bed around 3 am usually and wake up anywhere from 8-12. i don't usually eat breakfast, i have to give myself extra time to get everywhere because i don't have a car, and things like laundry get pushed to the last minute. i'm amazed the plants that i have are still alive, honestly, and i'm looking forward to getting plants for our new apartment. i feel like i need some green around me, some life. for that, i'll need to water them regularly and make sure they're not sick. it's especially important for me to care for my recently acquired orchid. ideally i'd like to have aloe in the bathroom, a fern in the living room, the orchid and my other plant in my bedroom and herbs in a flower box on the porch.
so many plants will require that i develop routines. i think perhaps it will help me take a little better care of me if i'm caring for all these plants.
number 3. i want to be peaceful more. i'd like to spend more time being quiet and alone with a good book or music. my art definitely has suffered from the lack of attention... i feel like all i've been doing recently is getting by. i'm eating junk, watching junk, weighed down by my (soon to be less) impressive amount of junk.
these are things i'd like. i want to be able to cook and do so regularly. i want to eat good, solid meals when i am supposed to. i want to ride my bike around. i want to make things. i want to take my vitamins. i want to wake up to sunlight.
here's hoping that i can bring some of those things to life.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
just another friday night
worked tonight at pozole. those are some cool people who work there, i gotta tell ya.
so, tomorrow i'm seeing sascha, maybe going to get a haircut. got my shift covered at work so that i can take my evening slow and hopefully feel a little better. i need to start working on my next drawing project. also need to clean. yeah.
oh, and i went to see the doctor today. she was really nice, and even though i had to drive out to tucker for the appointment, it was nice to find out it's just an upper respiratory/sinus infection. thank goodness it's not something more serious. she basically told me to take advil and get some rest... i'm pretty sure i can manage such a feat :)
so i'm laying in bed now and i'm tired. ate some chocolate, thought about the summer ahead, thought about the past, remembered living in boston, felt kinda old...
anyhow, regardless of any other b.s. at least i can say that i'm feeling pretty confident. i'm excited about writing for young blood's blog, too. they asked me to blog about things i like in the store, so i'm going to write about the things i've bought there recently.
so anyways, no pictures or links tonight, just a rambling tmi public internet stream of consciousness. oh well!
gnight world
isadora
so, tomorrow i'm seeing sascha, maybe going to get a haircut. got my shift covered at work so that i can take my evening slow and hopefully feel a little better. i need to start working on my next drawing project. also need to clean. yeah.
oh, and i went to see the doctor today. she was really nice, and even though i had to drive out to tucker for the appointment, it was nice to find out it's just an upper respiratory/sinus infection. thank goodness it's not something more serious. she basically told me to take advil and get some rest... i'm pretty sure i can manage such a feat :)
so i'm laying in bed now and i'm tired. ate some chocolate, thought about the summer ahead, thought about the past, remembered living in boston, felt kinda old...
anyhow, regardless of any other b.s. at least i can say that i'm feeling pretty confident. i'm excited about writing for young blood's blog, too. they asked me to blog about things i like in the store, so i'm going to write about the things i've bought there recently.
so anyways, no pictures or links tonight, just a rambling tmi public internet stream of consciousness. oh well!
gnight world
isadora
Thursday, March 19, 2009
somebody once told me...
...that you learn what you're really made of when you've got nothing left. maybe that's true. maybe it's not what kind of horse you ride or how long you've been riding, maybe it's about how you go about getting back on.
i know that i'm still not at the bottom. there's a place far darker than where i am now, and i'm doing alright. heaven knows it hasn't been all that easy, and i've complained about it to more than one of my friends, but really... i'm still fighting.
so, world, here's my message for you. give me all you've got. i can take it. i'm not running away, i'm going to see this through. so go ahead. i have faith in my ability to sally forth regardless of whatever bull you may want to throw at me. i am a rock-em sock-em robot, and i'll always be game for another round.
this is my war face.
anyway, thank goodness for mike. i was going to go to work but am pretty intensely sick, so i called mike and he covered my shift at the last minute. seriously. awesome.
feeling a bit better, took some meds finally and watched some of r.kelly's trapped in the closet extended version on ifc. was pretty entertaining, i must say :)
i know that i'm still not at the bottom. there's a place far darker than where i am now, and i'm doing alright. heaven knows it hasn't been all that easy, and i've complained about it to more than one of my friends, but really... i'm still fighting.
so, world, here's my message for you. give me all you've got. i can take it. i'm not running away, i'm going to see this through. so go ahead. i have faith in my ability to sally forth regardless of whatever bull you may want to throw at me. i am a rock-em sock-em robot, and i'll always be game for another round.
this is my war face.
anyway, thank goodness for mike. i was going to go to work but am pretty intensely sick, so i called mike and he covered my shift at the last minute. seriously. awesome.
feeling a bit better, took some meds finally and watched some of r.kelly's trapped in the closet extended version on ifc. was pretty entertaining, i must say :)
crap, crap, crap.
sometimes it feels like everything is against me. sometimes it feels like everything is going wrong all at once and not even the most enjoyable parts of life can i experience the way that i normally do. the past few weeks have been pretty trying for me, what with a death in the family, mountains of makeup work and now this horrible something that i've caught. sometimes it feels like i can't take one more thing going wrong.
today when i rode the bus home i saw this couple... i never understand why people don't understand this stuff... anyway this couple, both about my age, had their baby on the bus with them. instead of sitting together like a normal couple would do, allowing someone (i.e. me) to sit in the vacant seats, each of them took up two seats a piece. the girl had her feet up all over the seat, almost defying someone to want to sit down. i tried really hard not to glare at her, but, honestly! the bus was nearly full!
and that's not including all the other people on the bus who purposefully sit on the aisle seat so nobody can sit next to them. why is that? i don't like sitting next to strangers either, but i certainly am not going to make them stand so i can have TWO perfectly good seats to myself.
as you may be able to tell, this is an issue which bothers me regularly. this is not even talking about the massive disregard for politeness which my classmates so regularly demonstrate in elevators, in classrooms and even in the cafeteria.
psht. whatever.
anyway, as much as right now i do feel as though i'm barely holding it together, i refuse to be anything less than resilient. yes, i'm sick, but i went to class today. i'll go to work tonight, sick (nobody could cover my shift, c'est la vie) then come home and guzzle down some robitussin then try to get some decent sleep before i get up again tomorrow.
it's hard to recover from major life crises and serious illness when you have literally no days off. yep, you heard me right, i have class mon-thurs, work at doc bombay's thursday and sunday, work at pozole friday and saturday and my internship on friday as well. i like the things i do, but it can feel so overwhelming when i know that ahead of me i have papers, exams, projects and a move in the next two weeks.
ugh.
somehow i know i'll get through it, because that's the least i can do. if nothing else i'll survive.
i try to remind myself that i'm not so unlucky, really. i have all my appendages, i am relatively fit and i'm young, i have a place to sleep at night and food when i'm hungry. most of all, i'm still alive.
but... damn... sometimes it doesn't seem like that's going to be enough to tide me over.
alright. time to pop a lozenge and head into work. yay me!
isadora
today when i rode the bus home i saw this couple... i never understand why people don't understand this stuff... anyway this couple, both about my age, had their baby on the bus with them. instead of sitting together like a normal couple would do, allowing someone (i.e. me) to sit in the vacant seats, each of them took up two seats a piece. the girl had her feet up all over the seat, almost defying someone to want to sit down. i tried really hard not to glare at her, but, honestly! the bus was nearly full!
and that's not including all the other people on the bus who purposefully sit on the aisle seat so nobody can sit next to them. why is that? i don't like sitting next to strangers either, but i certainly am not going to make them stand so i can have TWO perfectly good seats to myself.
as you may be able to tell, this is an issue which bothers me regularly. this is not even talking about the massive disregard for politeness which my classmates so regularly demonstrate in elevators, in classrooms and even in the cafeteria.
psht. whatever.
anyway, as much as right now i do feel as though i'm barely holding it together, i refuse to be anything less than resilient. yes, i'm sick, but i went to class today. i'll go to work tonight, sick (nobody could cover my shift, c'est la vie) then come home and guzzle down some robitussin then try to get some decent sleep before i get up again tomorrow.
it's hard to recover from major life crises and serious illness when you have literally no days off. yep, you heard me right, i have class mon-thurs, work at doc bombay's thursday and sunday, work at pozole friday and saturday and my internship on friday as well. i like the things i do, but it can feel so overwhelming when i know that ahead of me i have papers, exams, projects and a move in the next two weeks.
ugh.
somehow i know i'll get through it, because that's the least i can do. if nothing else i'll survive.
i try to remind myself that i'm not so unlucky, really. i have all my appendages, i am relatively fit and i'm young, i have a place to sleep at night and food when i'm hungry. most of all, i'm still alive.
but... damn... sometimes it doesn't seem like that's going to be enough to tide me over.
alright. time to pop a lozenge and head into work. yay me!
isadora
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
ok dudes...
this is a message for all of y'all. i really love the comments in the boxes, but when i get the notifications in my inbox it doesn't tell me your name or contact info, so i have no idea who you are if you don't tell me! it would be really nice if i could thank the people who said these nice things. please at least give yourself a nickname!
also, i do like life aquatic, but i think luke wilson is super hunky in royal tenenbaums. that's probably 35% of why i like it so much.
ugh... so cute.
so i think i may have strep throat. sorry to anyone who i may have infected. i'll probably end up going to the doctor's on friday for some antibiotics. for now, i drink lots of hot tea and try not to talk too loud.
my professor asked me to take down my carousel project that was hanging in the hall today and i hung a new piece i made in class. it's a picture of a saw. sounds boring, right? my teacher gave me some pointers that helped a ton, in fact i don't think i've ever drawn an object as realistically as i did today. anyway, here's a picture of the carousel project.
the parameters were to draw from life in a public setting and then use creative license with some aspect of the scene to make it distinct. i chose the graveyard tavern in east atlanta. when i was at the zoo with caitlin i noticed that the shape of the bar is almost identical to the shape of a carousel, and so i decided to meld the two. of course, like everything i do, it's a little lonely. reminds me a little of a grown-up and jaded petit prince. i poked holes in a piece of paper and used it as a stencil with gold spraypaint for the stars. i used spray adhesive to hold it together, but unfortunately it didn't stay stuck forever. maybe i'll get it framed.
i have two papers to finish tonight, ugh. thank goodness for red bull.
isadora.
also, i do like life aquatic, but i think luke wilson is super hunky in royal tenenbaums. that's probably 35% of why i like it so much.
ugh... so cute.
so i think i may have strep throat. sorry to anyone who i may have infected. i'll probably end up going to the doctor's on friday for some antibiotics. for now, i drink lots of hot tea and try not to talk too loud.
my professor asked me to take down my carousel project that was hanging in the hall today and i hung a new piece i made in class. it's a picture of a saw. sounds boring, right? my teacher gave me some pointers that helped a ton, in fact i don't think i've ever drawn an object as realistically as i did today. anyway, here's a picture of the carousel project.
the parameters were to draw from life in a public setting and then use creative license with some aspect of the scene to make it distinct. i chose the graveyard tavern in east atlanta. when i was at the zoo with caitlin i noticed that the shape of the bar is almost identical to the shape of a carousel, and so i decided to meld the two. of course, like everything i do, it's a little lonely. reminds me a little of a grown-up and jaded petit prince. i poked holes in a piece of paper and used it as a stencil with gold spraypaint for the stars. i used spray adhesive to hold it together, but unfortunately it didn't stay stuck forever. maybe i'll get it framed.
i have two papers to finish tonight, ugh. thank goodness for red bull.
isadora.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
it's a beautiful day
happy saint patty's day! (though i am not wearing green)
okay, so i have news about the zombz afterparty-- it will be next tuesday the 24th at the bookhouse pub! our film will show at 11, but they're also going to show some other zombie classics. come in and see it!
so... i listened to at last by etta james this morning. it's beautiful. reminds me of sunflowers, though i'm not quite sure why. open a window, turn off the t.v. and close your eyes.
i bought this necklace that was on sale at u.o. for $10 today. it says "je t'aime plus qu'hier moins de demain", which is a french translation of a saying that my dear ogre says to me from time to time.
also, good news on the apartment search front. we saw a place we really liked in inman park on saturday, and we should be getting the forms to apply in our emails any day now. i am so excited, and it's only two blocks from little 5.
it's so nice finally seeing my friends again. it feels like it's been months since i've just been normal, though in all reality it's only been like a week or so.
general illness has escalated into full-on migraine, ugh. i don't feel so great.
here's to not drinking!
--bangers
okay, so i have news about the zombz afterparty-- it will be next tuesday the 24th at the bookhouse pub! our film will show at 11, but they're also going to show some other zombie classics. come in and see it!
so... i listened to at last by etta james this morning. it's beautiful. reminds me of sunflowers, though i'm not quite sure why. open a window, turn off the t.v. and close your eyes.
i bought this necklace that was on sale at u.o. for $10 today. it says "je t'aime plus qu'hier moins de demain", which is a french translation of a saying that my dear ogre says to me from time to time.
also, good news on the apartment search front. we saw a place we really liked in inman park on saturday, and we should be getting the forms to apply in our emails any day now. i am so excited, and it's only two blocks from little 5.
it's so nice finally seeing my friends again. it feels like it's been months since i've just been normal, though in all reality it's only been like a week or so.
general illness has escalated into full-on migraine, ugh. i don't feel so great.
here's to not drinking!
--bangers
Sunday, March 15, 2009
sunday evening
so, home from work now. had a pretty good day, i'm going to try to mend this really cute apron i found at work. it's ripping a little and needs some tlc.
i ate dinner at whole foods and was saddened by the lack of samples... it's one of the main draws for me to go there, and all they had tonight were grapes. really? grapes? i mean, who doesn't know what a grape tastes like? give me a sample of something cool, dammit.
also, i've had "don't mess with bill..." stuck in my head all day long. it's the song that plays in one of the commercials for big love on hbo (last season! aahhh!) and i can't get rid of it. though you do have to admit, those girls rocked.
one thing i hope all of you are enjoying right now is this messy spring. yeah, it was 80 one day and snowing the next, but next time you're driving to work or walking to the bus, take a look around. there's this particular vibrance to freshly blossomed plants... i don't usually work much with color in my artwork (probably an indication of some deep emotional struggle, who knows) but that color is one of the one's i'd actually like to use. right now it's really only ever black, white and red. let me see if i can find images online of some of my current favorite colors....
okay, i admit it, the last one is just for shock value :)
also, watching that marvelettes video reminded me of this gem. really, very good music. nancy sinatra reminds me of this pretty little monster i know, spends her time being photographed in a lake in scotland... ;)
okay, time to rest my aching back (yep, actually using a daddytom-ism in daily life!)
goodnight world.
i ate dinner at whole foods and was saddened by the lack of samples... it's one of the main draws for me to go there, and all they had tonight were grapes. really? grapes? i mean, who doesn't know what a grape tastes like? give me a sample of something cool, dammit.
also, i've had "don't mess with bill..." stuck in my head all day long. it's the song that plays in one of the commercials for big love on hbo (last season! aahhh!) and i can't get rid of it. though you do have to admit, those girls rocked.
one thing i hope all of you are enjoying right now is this messy spring. yeah, it was 80 one day and snowing the next, but next time you're driving to work or walking to the bus, take a look around. there's this particular vibrance to freshly blossomed plants... i don't usually work much with color in my artwork (probably an indication of some deep emotional struggle, who knows) but that color is one of the one's i'd actually like to use. right now it's really only ever black, white and red. let me see if i can find images online of some of my current favorite colors....
okay, i admit it, the last one is just for shock value :)also, watching that marvelettes video reminded me of this gem. really, very good music. nancy sinatra reminds me of this pretty little monster i know, spends her time being photographed in a lake in scotland... ;)
okay, time to rest my aching back (yep, actually using a daddytom-ism in daily life!)
goodnight world.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
so...
it only took a few days of facebook's new obnoxious format for me to give in and make this new site. the main things i was using fb for were photo sharing, status updates and keeping my friends involved in the stuff i've been doing. after i recently learned that facebook actually owns all the images that are uploaded (really??) i thought it might not be such a great idea to upload all my photos there.
also, i recently joined twitter (follow me @ fizzybiscuit!) so i don't really need facebook to keep up with my lady friends. so why else? well, because maybe no one will ever look at this besides me. i think one of the main reasons sites like myspace and facebook prosper is because everyone is on that one site, and it makes sending messages and interacting much easier. it may discourage people to have to type my website into the browser, but i figure it won't hurt my feelings much if nobody pays me any mind at all.
this evening was supposed to be intense work time, time for me to do some schoolwork and catch up on stuff i couldn't do last week. but, well, not so much. i got it into my head to make this website (costs $6 a month, fyi) because i'm so tired of dealing with myspace and facebook, but also because i've been asked a few times recently about my old site. i disabled it because it cost too much and i wasn't really using it, but i was surprised by how many people asked me about it months after i deleted it. so, here we are again. let me know if anything doesn't work, and definitely leave me a cute message in one of the msg boxes!
isadora
also, i recently joined twitter (follow me @ fizzybiscuit!) so i don't really need facebook to keep up with my lady friends. so why else? well, because maybe no one will ever look at this besides me. i think one of the main reasons sites like myspace and facebook prosper is because everyone is on that one site, and it makes sending messages and interacting much easier. it may discourage people to have to type my website into the browser, but i figure it won't hurt my feelings much if nobody pays me any mind at all.
this evening was supposed to be intense work time, time for me to do some schoolwork and catch up on stuff i couldn't do last week. but, well, not so much. i got it into my head to make this website (costs $6 a month, fyi) because i'm so tired of dealing with myspace and facebook, but also because i've been asked a few times recently about my old site. i disabled it because it cost too much and i wasn't really using it, but i was surprised by how many people asked me about it months after i deleted it. so, here we are again. let me know if anything doesn't work, and definitely leave me a cute message in one of the msg boxes!
isadora
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